Musings from a mother

I often wonder how much value is placed on our children. I don't mean how big is their life insurance pay out.

I mean, how much do we value their contribution to society?

I chuckle when I hear the term "Life skills". Life is what is happening every day. From the moment we are born we start learning and assimilating skills . We study our environment consciously and unconsciously. We learn how to respond to social cues and situations. It's an ongoing process that we never stop cycling through.

When Alex was born, he relied on Sweet Husband and I for everything. In one very short year he could get from Point A to Point B on his own. He could feed himself, and he could communicate with us in broken English. 

Two years after that, he could use the bathroom by himself. He understood the other people had feelings. He could still communicate with us in broken English.

Four years after that, he is starting to learn multiplication. He can grasp concepts in physics. He can read books by himself. He can write a letter by himself. 

Every year he continues to grow physically and mentally. He is maturing and picking up new attitudes and behaviors. Every year he is evolving into the man he will become. 

I have to constantly remind myself that Alex is not three years old anymore. He has new capabilities now, and if I don't allow him a chance to exercise these new  attributes, I cannot expect him to become a contributing member of society.

As his parent I need to allow him the opportunity to explore and expand his skills.

One day Alex will be an adult. It will not be a rapid transformation, but a slow metamorphosis.

My hope is that he will be able to interact with people, regardless of their culture or age. My prayer is that he will never stop seeing the humanity in other people, and that he will value their contributions.

I want my child to interact with people that are much older than him, and with people that are much younger than him. I want to learn first hand about compassion and teaching. I want him to hear firsthand accounts of life before the internet and cable tv.

I want him to know that we can celebrate our differences.

I want him to have the confidence to think for himself.

Naturally living or living naturally

I'm trying to eviromentally friendly and health conscience. I want to instill in my family a respect for our planet and a taste for healthy, living foods.

But it can be overwhelming.

It's so much easier to remain blissfully unaware about what we're really putting in and on our bodies. There's so much out there, and when it feels like EVERYTHING has some type of poisen, what's the use? I get so overwhelmed sometimes. The active ingredient in Sweet Husband's shampoo is linked with reproductive cancer. My facial moisturizer has a endocrine disruptor in it. The baby sunscreen that I've stalked our house with has worse side effects than an actual sunburn! You get the idea. It seems almost impossible to find safe products in an actual store.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing everything wrong.

In a world where instant gratification reigns supreme, it's hard to watch slow changes take place.
My goal is to have a safe home for my children. Maybe it won't ever be completely free of toxins and ickyness. But I'm also setting an example for my children. I'm teaching them how to make decisions for themselves, and not blindly follow the crowd. To weigh the individual pros and cons for every nature vs. technology choice they will run into. I may not be able to attain a toxin-free house, but if I teach my children how to make informed decisions I will be able to rest easy.




For now I'll focus on baby steps. Limited processed food. Lots of produce. A moisturizer that's a little less frightening and a sunscreen I can put on my children without guilt. Those are my building blocks.

It's been quite awhile since I've even attempted to write anything. November shaped up to be a very busy month for our family. My baby sister was married the weekend before Thanksgiving.
I offered her a wedding dress from my "collection" and volunteered to do the alterations. I finished the dress at the beginning of November and prayed that it would fit right. She only had a chance to try it on once before I started the alterations. The next time she was in the same city as the dress was the day before the wedding.


No sooner had I finished the dress, than I remembered I owed my younger brother a hat. So I broke out my knitting needles and whipped out a hat... Only to have Alex inform me he needed a hat and scarf as well. I actually finished his hat during the drive to New Mexico.



We returned home the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which gave us just enough time to unpack, brine the chickens and bake some pies for the Thanksgiving dinner we hosted at our house.

Then came December.

Alex had his first public performance with his tap dancing class. We took him to see the Nutcracker, celebrated my wonderful husband's birthday then had a BIG family gathering at our house for Christmas. We had so much fun. Of course now that everyone has gone back to their homes, our home seems sadly quiet and empty.

My mom surprised me by bringing a tub of Alex's baby clothes an dhis old cradle that I had in storage back in New Mexico. Alex and I have been slowly going through the clothing and laundering them. The cradle is tucked away in my closet. That I won't set up until after Spain arrives.

Now I'm compiling my wish to-do list for January. It involves a lot of sewing and knitting....

Daily workouts relieve stress?

My husband and I have a contest going on, to see which one of us will have the better set of abs, by the time he returns from deployment. As I was getting dressed this morning I found myself studying my abs. I actually have nice abs. Unfortunately they are scared of cold temperatures, and are bundled underneath a nice warm layer of, what I like to think of as "The ab quilt".

So while I stare in dumbstruck wonder as my freshly cleaned living room is demolished, within mere minutes of letting the small ones loose, a little demented voice in the back of my mind chants "Tighten your abs Tighten your abs. Tighten your abs.". And, like any self-respecting mother on the verge of sobbing, I do exactly what the little voice tells me.
I tighten my abs as I remove the glass hurricane lamp from the grasp of the visiting 13-month old (while wondering how she manage to get it off the shelf 4 feet above her head).

I tighten my abs as I wrestle wooden blocks and duplos from the dog's grasp and replace it with the nylabone, that clearly isn't as much fun as legos.

I tighten my abs as I scrub peanut butter off of the walls, and search through a sea of k'nex for the right piece to the 4 year old's pirate ship.

I tighten my abs while I prepare 18 snacks for two children.

I forget to tighten my abs when the 13-month old starts eating the dog food, and table dancing.

I forget where my abs are when the 4 year old has a nervous breakdown because his stuffed dog wandered off.

I cannot comprehend the meaning of the word "tighten" unless it is in reference to the grip one child has on another child's hair.

By the end of the day, as I'm sitting down, with my feet propped up, indulging in something containing dark chocolate, I decide before we take off our shirts to compare abs, my dear husband has to drink a 6-pack.