I mean all the guards, the gates, the credential flashing. It's right up there with living at Buckingham Palace or the White House, right?
Allow me to share with you an email I received one morning from our housing office.
Please take a look at the attached photo and be on the lookout for the
individual pictured. He is an escapee from a Transitional Facility in
Wyoming and is believed to still be on our Military Installation after running
the gate last night. Please contact the Military Installation police
Department with any information
I've been pondering several questions regarding this turn of events.
1)Assuming they didn't leave a word out of our mass email, why was an escapee running our gate? Was he in charge of the schedule? Was he masquerading as a guard? Or perhaps he offered to fill in for someone who called in sick.
I can almost picture the scenario:
Real Guard: "I'm really hungry. I'm going to ask the next person I see to cover my shift for half an hour so that I can eat."
Escapee: "Eh, I've got nothing better to do right now. Could you bring me a sweet tea?"
2) Our Military Installation is NO WHERE near Wyoming. Why come here?
Geographically, I could think of several other places to go. However, I don't want to imply that fleeing the country from THE LAW is a good thing.
And most importantly,
3) If I was an escapee, I don't think a military installation is where I would head.
Ben&Jerry's-Yes. Springfield-Yes. Military Land-No. It just does not compute for me.
You have to use a military ID for everything on post. Except bowling... I wonder if the escapee in question was a bowler?
I received a follow-up email shortly after the first one, letting everyone know the guy was apprehended. Unfortunately there were no contact details in the second email, so my questions will be left unanswered.