Dear Tiny Dictator.
I am so sorry that your day was ruined, before I had a chance to eat breakfast, drink coffee, or even get dressed. Your perfect day was shattered before the school buses had a chance to drive down our street. Knowing the I am the reason for your distress, fills me with angst.
I realize how foolish I was. Foolishly believing that you had finished your own breakfast. Thinking back, when you happily told me "all done", and then ceremoniously threw your bowl on the floor; that could have meant anything.
But the emotional torture did not stop there. I continued to defy you, with my refusal to participate in leisurely perusing the entire contents of our refrigerator. And again, when I rejected your calm request for an entire bag of chips.
I was selfishly trying to eat, what started out as a hot breakfast. In my delusional state, which I can only assume was brought on by hunger, I forgot that YOU, and only you, are the light in my life. When you were born I gave up any right I had to indulge in a reasonably timed meal. Nutrition is no longer important for me.
Thank you for your benevolence.
Your most humble servant,
P.S < /satire>